backing to lovely, lonly nights... silence and books...
however, I've been looking to some pictures before that... ain't it awesome how some people can look to world and then sharing their thoughts to us? just take a look: http://spiritsofnature.aminus3.com/image/2009-12-30.html
and then I was wondering, it could be much easier to find beauty in the wide nature rather than timid crazy present-day human made habitats??
but yet, I can't imagine of living in those places, I mean towns and not crowded cities... for e.g. I love Charlottesville, great place for concentration and finding beautiful scenes every where but in the same way it drives me crazy... I love people! seeing them, feeling them... I hate damn totally silent nights which seem everyone is dead!!! I hate the silence which is not my choice indeed....
I dunno... maybe some day some how... or maybe as I used to say, in Natanz, my favorite city... who knows... in the other words: who cares....????
holy damn shit!!! (mix words!!!) I missed many things that can come in words... I miss my terrific room... my colleagues... my self confidence there indeed...
where am I going? yet I dunno... and I dunno why I put myself in this situation by my own hands... I dunno why while every one can see the bright future for me, for myself everything seem so dark that it didn't use to be so... I don't like the way that I can't find my place in this new society. It is not because I can't find friends or have difficulties with communications, for sure not! it is just me! myself! my interests and my culture which I love and which is the main thing that I want to talk and think about, but , here there are many limitations for that which are understandable for me too...
Oh god... show me the way... (although if you don't, yet I will remain your "bahul" smiley girl!!!)
however, I've been looking to some pictures before that... ain't it awesome how some people can look to world and then sharing their thoughts to us? just take a look: http://spiritsofnature.aminus3.com/image/2009-12-30.html
and then I was wondering, it could be much easier to find beauty in the wide nature rather than timid crazy present-day human made habitats??
but yet, I can't imagine of living in those places, I mean towns and not crowded cities... for e.g. I love Charlottesville, great place for concentration and finding beautiful scenes every where but in the same way it drives me crazy... I love people! seeing them, feeling them... I hate damn totally silent nights which seem everyone is dead!!! I hate the silence which is not my choice indeed....
I dunno... maybe some day some how... or maybe as I used to say, in Natanz, my favorite city... who knows... in the other words: who cares....????
holy damn shit!!! (mix words!!!) I missed many things that can come in words... I miss my terrific room... my colleagues... my self confidence there indeed...
where am I going? yet I dunno... and I dunno why I put myself in this situation by my own hands... I dunno why while every one can see the bright future for me, for myself everything seem so dark that it didn't use to be so... I don't like the way that I can't find my place in this new society. It is not because I can't find friends or have difficulties with communications, for sure not! it is just me! myself! my interests and my culture which I love and which is the main thing that I want to talk and think about, but , here there are many limitations for that which are understandable for me too...
Oh god... show me the way... (although if you don't, yet I will remain your "bahul" smiley girl!!!)
So, you came back, that's when you talk in here,
ReplyDeleteI guess we are going almost the same place. while thinking correctly specifically by others we are supposed to be so happy and blab blab blab, we are not yet happy with ourselves.
how opposite we two are in some extends, while I love the silence of a deserts and green views, you love to being in crowds. well, I now realize that it is not because we are over eexpectedfro
finally, I should confess that I'm reaching the point that I can not handle the boat of life any more not to say that I have totally given up but I let it go by itself more often than before.
ReplyDeleteحالا برو حالش و ببر
ReplyDeleteسلام.توی نام های دوستات شخصی بنام تارا زینال زادگان هست,مطمعن هستم فامیل من هست ولی نمیدونم کیه.لطفا کمکم کنید.برام مهمه.اسم پدرش جمشیده؟ممنون میشم سوال چند ساله منو جواب بدید.
ReplyDeleteagripnu@gmail.com
سعید زینال زادگان
when i was at your age , i was trying to find someone to get and feel my thoughts
ReplyDeleteNobody did help me , even a Psychologist in our Medical center in our University could not help me
so i tried to solve and find reponses for my inner questions
Nothing , ......
No i'm 57 and still think about those days that i was confused and years passed so so quickly.
Please , as on old friend , just think wisely and don't miss your lovely young ages
May God help you to overcome your feelings
whoever you are the anonymous writer, I think I need ti pay more attention to your comment, It has been a couple of days that I'm thinking about what you said in here
ReplyDelete