And that I love you.
I've loved you since the very first moment I met you. Since you called me loud and clear in Dupont. And I turned towards you in awe... That you dared to call my name -My name, Negar- in Dupont and how perfectly you pronounced it. Since you hold your hand in front of me to not jump in front of the speeding cars... And by the time we were in Starbucks, I already knew things are different this time. Very different.
And I knew, unlike yourself, that you're not ready. That you're repeating my past. That it will take years for you to move on and get ready.
I know the hell you were going through. The one you're still in. And I know that I don't want any being to go through that. At least not alone.
I offered my help. And you didn't take it seriously.
And for that, you're the most stupid person I ever seen.
I didn't want and don't want anything in return. In my eyes no one deserves to experience that misery. That pain. That suffocation. That drowning. So I help. Not because I want anything in return. I'd help anyone who feels that suffocation, if I can...
And you're stupid for not getting it. To let yourself be alone to carry this weight.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad at you. But "there is time for everything..."
So my offer stands.
And I hope you survive until I feel stable enough to share this letter with you.
Love,
A. N.
پینوشت. من آرت تراپی دوست دارم. امروز مطمئن شدم که جدی خواهمش گرفت.
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